I'm your pusher

I cant relate.
I cant see
I cant readily adapt

I really do miss my little tacos even though I lose sleep over them. It's Christmas Eve, a time where im pratically jumping out of my skin in anticipation of tomorrow (supposedly). At the current moment I can hardly stomach the fact that tomorrow is Christmas, the birth of Jesus Christ (even though evidence proves that Jesus was born in the spring). Oh well...

Trapped I am in a mind that thinks too much, and a mind & environment that leaves no room for deviation from the norm.

"Born alone, die alone..."

I'm really irked that im here sitting at home typing this fucking blog when I should be enjoying what's left of my reckless years. You see ive been poisoned, poisoned by the air in the environment that we dwell in.

"i'm toxicity in human form..."

The emptiness is closing in, almost as if it was trying to suffocate me. Try as I might to fight it, it engulfs me, swallowing me whole and I drown.

you see I have an addiction.
I acknowledge that I do indeed have one, but I am yet to give it up. This may sound kinda cheesy (well it is) but I think im going to make this my New Years resolution, to kick that dirty, unhealthy habit. My addiction is another story... I dont think I shall EVER reveal it to anyone, I shall carry it to my grave...

Maybe I should be one of those people who have a secret life that others have no clue of, but I do not want to be that someone.
"I wanna be me for a change..."

Santa likes "ho ho ho" & a bottle of rum

So I deleted my older blog posts because I never really got around to learning how this site functions.
oh well.
Christmas is around the corner & like all the years ive been alive, i'm expecting no gifts. It was never a tradition of my family's to exchange gifts. Having the family together is the real gift (or so I suppose). This year is going to be the worst- hardly anyone in my entire family is talking to each other (but thats a different story for a different time). So no family dinner where your aunt drinks too much & starts stripping on the front lawn prompting a visit not from Santa, but from the cops.
Christmas- the most fricking wonderful time of the year. NOT.
My plan is to lie in my effin bed all day & watch those cheesy ass movies they like to plaster all over the TV during the holidays. Way to get me into the holiday mood, bastards.

Even this guy will have more fun than me:

Heck if he gets his last request he should be the happiest man on this God damn planet, even if it only lasts for an hour.

I even borrowed books from the public library to read and decided to email different organizations provoking an icy response from them and knit, yes knit sweaters for the poor homeless children in... I dunno... Chile or something. Ok so maybe that knitting sweater thing was a big old lie.
BLOW ME.

&&& I think thats all for now.